I have a love/hate relationship with life changing decisions.

Well folks.. I graduate from college in just over three weeks. Woah. I may be slightly wiggin' out. I know I write about this alot, but it's a huge time in my life, like, "don't make the wrong decision because it effects the entire rest of your life." Yeah, they make it all seem so simple. N.O.T.

Kymber and I had decided to move to the valley together. I am sure you are thinking, "you can go anywhere in the world, why the valley?" Two reasons:

1. I lived in two amazing cities before now (Viterbo and Orlando). Both were fun, new, adventerous. Both offered me so much, yet offered me so little. I loved experiencing them, but I hated being so far from home. It is nice to get out and explore the world and see what I can become, but why do it all alone? If I were to move in with my sister, I could do all these things while spending time I will never get back with someone I love dearly. Sadly, we won't both be single forever (or maybe we will, but you get my point), so why not spend this time with her? Phoenix is a city just like Seattle, New York, London, Boston, all the places I would love to go. But Phoenix has Kymber, and it close to home. So Phoenix it is.

2. See #1, that was pretty much it.

Last weekend, though, I went to the valley for a concert (mayday parade = amazing). I went half insane just trying to get to the venue. The traffic was making me crazy. I began to realize I have never even liked the valley. I always told myself I would never just "move to the valley". Bor. ing. (No offense to people who live there, it just isn't my forte). 

Then, yesterday it snowed. Hello, snow. I nearly cried real tears of joy. I love snow. Also, Saturday night we drove 20 minutes and were in the middle of nowhere making smores over a fire. I was so happy! I love the woods. I love the middle of nowhere. I love the trees and the mountains. Phoenix = none of that. Blech.

I talked to Kymber about changing our plans.

"Why not live in Flag, Kymber?"

"Sure, but where will you work?"

Oh. Work. That's what people do after college. Forgot that part. Find a job, in this town? But where? So now, here I am, deciding between my happiness and my career. I mean, I am sure life will be perfectly adequate in the valley, but who ever wanted to describe their life as "perfectly adequate"? At the same time, I can stay in Flag and be blissfully happy about my surroundings, while maintaining a perfectly adequate job. But who goes to college for four years only to find a job that is "perfectly adequate"?

There is so much potential for the career I want in the valley, yet so much potenital for the small town lifestyle I crave in Flagstaff. How do I choose?! I know, prayer and fasting. I am doing those things.. but my sister needs an answer. She has to register for school soon. So I am trying to put somewhat of a rush on this life changing decision. Let's hope my answer is what it best! Darn you life for being so simple, yet so complicated.



I love this little girl

"I'm a cute little girl with a cute little figure, stand back boys till I get a little bigger"

Music and Lyrics

I used to always say I felt bad for people who listened to music for the music and not the lyrics. I couldn't stand music that sounded good but said things like:

"You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh."

Come on Rihanna. Seriously who wrote that down and thought, "man, that's good stuff right there. Lyrics of champions." Not.

Sorry if you love that song, but really? I could go on and on about those songs. Fergie is the worst about it ("like a little school mate in a school yard, we'll play jacks and uno cards, I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine" I can't take it.). ..but I am not here to talk about artists and their music. That's what makes them artists, they all have their own style. Besides, I have grown to rather like music with bad lyrics. Some of it is worth the music, and sometimes the lyrics are hilarious. I just learned not to take them seriously.

Example:

"I sing just like Aretha, so respect me like I’m Caesar

I kick it like Adidas, flowin’ sticky like adhesive

Be cautious, ’cause what I be on’ll leave you with amnesia

I break all the rules like Evel Knievel

It’s a spectacular show, ’cause my heart pumps diesel

So whatever you saying, it don’t entertain my ego

I do this everyday, Hocus Pocus is my steelo"

Ridiculous, but I love it.

Anyway, what I want to talk about is having mad respect for lyrical genius. Some people are lyrical prodigies I swear. Some people can just say things that make me wonder "how in the free world did they ever come up with that?" They say exactly what I am thinking or feeling in ways that describe it so perfectly. Maybe my vocabularly is simply lacking and therefore I can't be so creative myself; either way, it's impressive.

I am a song repeater to the core. I listen to the same song over and over (and over and over and over) again. Just part of my obsessive personality I guess (working on overcoming that). Anyway, lately I have had the same six songs on repeat. They are on a playlist on my computer and the playlist just repeats and repeats and repeats (Pete and Repete were sitting on a wall, Pete falls off and who is left? Think about it.). I have noticed all the songs are either horribly depressing or rather romantic. What can I say, I am a girl. Anyway, I hate to be terribly boring and post all the lyrics that I love, but where else can I share them? At least here you have the option of the red X in the top right corner to help you escape if you are terribly bored, rather than in conversation when you would just be listening to me ramble.

"Would it be ok if I took your breath away?"

"I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours, it's simply radiant."

"I just feel complete when you're by my side."

- A Day to Remember

"...with these few words you'll erase me, two years of our lives meant nothing to you, but this fool that you've made of me has a lesson learned: you can't trust a lover who was never a friend."  

"I would have offered my life, taken you home, made you my wife, but hearing you now filling your mouth with all cowace lies, you're just a disguise of the girl of my dreams, but I know she is waiting for me, so I'll open my eyes to the day that's before me and leave here to find that next something new."

-Emery

"I've been trying way too long to try and be the perfect song when our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn't have to bear alone"
(Are you kidding? That's so incredibly true, so profound. Our hearts ARE heavy burdens. They are so much, so intense with so many different feelings, and we shouldn't have to carry that burden alone. We need another, a heart's counterpart, to help us carry the burden of our heavy hearts. Amazing.)

"How'd I ever breathe without a goodnight kiss from goodnight you, the kind of hope they all talk about, the kind of feeling we sing about, sit in our bedrooms and read about like a passage from goodnight moon."

"There you were as I saw my Juliet come graceful down the stairs, it's hard to miss the way her eyes light up the room and still the air"
 -Go Radio


"She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks."
-Ludacris
(Haha just teasing, that was sarcasm)

"Inside I hope you know I'm dying with my heart beside me in shattered pieces that may never be replaced"

(I said some were depressing :/)

"I thought with a month of apart, together would find us an opening, moonlight would provide the spark and that I would stumble across your key, or break down the door to your heart. Forever could see us, you and me, and you'd help me out of the dark. I gave my heart as an offering."

"I know that you want me to want you, I want to."

-Mayday Parade

I'll stop there, you get the point. I would start with some Taking Back Sunday, but I'd be here all day. Those kids are amazing, I don't know how they do it. Anyway, all these lyrics probably seem a little strange out of context, but listen to the songs, you'll get where I'm going with all of this. I probably seem a little emo after seeing more of the songs I listen to.. I just picked the ones with the kind of lyrics that mean a little something, you know? Anywho, just wanted to point out that sometimes music can be about more than just the sounds. The lyrics can say so much. Not to get all corny, but it really is poetic (I guess I am gangster in my mind and emo in my heart).

If you have stuck with this post all the way until now, thanks for listening to my rantings. Here is a little treat to break up the monotony, some comic relief...

Study Break

626

...days until Olympics: London 2012.

I'm so there it's insane. It is my graduation gift to myself... two years later. I am beginning my "Operation: London 2012" savings account as soon as I get a "real job". It has been a dream of mine to attend an opening cermonies since... well since forever, as far as I can remember, not really sure how long that is, probably since the beginning of time.

I think that if I save a small percentage (who am I kidding? It will be a rather large percentage, but with nobody but myself and my bills to pay for, I think it can be done) every month until 2012, I will have enough to pay for my trip. I love the Olympics like I love breathing, and London even more so. Michael Phelps 2012? Yes, please.

I also want an english bulldog. I better get a good job.

In other news, my little brother's football team is going to the state championship this weekend. They will be playing the Joseph City Wildcats (gag noise). Reminds me of ancient times when I was a young little lad (is a lad a boy? maybe I was never a young lad, just when I was a wee little one I guess) and we were faced with the same Wildcats for a state championship game. Every time this thought comes to mind, so does the famous line of a song you may know,

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND. WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING 'TIL THE END. WE ARE THE CHAMPONS, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, NO TIME FOR LOSERS 'CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...OF THE WORLD."

That song is so much more fun to sing when you mean it. Yesssss. In your face Joseph City, my softball team of 2006 are the champions, I'll always have that to hang over your heads. All the members of my family have been state champions (Kymber pitched for our varsity team and therefore was part of my and Lacy's championship team). No pressure little bro, but you better win and uphold the family title. Go Mustangs. I bleed red (so does everyone else, but, you know, I bleed red for the Mustangs).

Some inspiration, little bro:

"Rise up and take the power back, it's time that

The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that

Their time is coming to an end, we have to

Unify and watch our flag ascend, so come on

They will not force us

They will stop degrading us

They will not control us

WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS."

-Muse.

Thankful November

Wednesday: November 1st, 2010

I am thankful for my FHE Family.

Tuesday: November 2nd, 2010

I am thankful for those who fight for my right to vote.