Are you really there?

I just had an experience I wanted to share. Yesterday in church I was praying for help. Lately, I have been feeling... nothing, about anything. I haven't been excited or sad or angry or happy. I have felt numb. I am not sure the reason, but I was so worried that if I started school out that way, my grades, my desire, my passion for my major... all would be compromised and I would spend my time doing nothing productive because I didn't care.

I wasn't depressed, or upset, I just simply felt nothing strongly compelling me in one direction or another.

I didn't like it.

So I prayed. I asked my Heavenly Father to help me find comfort, to let me feel the spirit so I could feel something again, so I could find passion for life once again.

Last night there was a fireside. My roommates and I hadn't really wanted to go because we had so much to do, but I know enough to know that if I were to attend I would be blessed and find the time I needed to complete the tasks I was staying home for in the first place. So went we did.

The first speaker was a girl from my ward. She did a fantastic job, she was funny and kept our attention.

But it was the second speaker who captivated my interest. I almost believe he was sent there just to speak to me. He is the assistant dean in the college of business I attend at NAU. I see him around campus all the time, always with a smile on his face. He makes my day better whenever I see him because I know he cares whether or not I am doing well when he asks.

He spoke about life. He spoke about passion. He spoke about the desire we needed to have to gain our education, the hunger we must feel, the thirst for knowledge. He reminded me about being an example of the believers, about having a hop in my step and a fire in my heart. I was captivated. I couldn't take my eyes or ears off of his words. Nothing could distract me. When he was done speaking, I looked at the clock and realized 40 minutes had passed. I felt like I could listen to him speak all night.

He said everything I needed to hear. He helped me remember my love for my major, my future career, my education, and my spiritual self. He reminded me of the joys and the pains of this thing we call college.

I know it may seem like such a simple thing, but it was an answered prayer. It was a directly answered prayer. I know my Heavenly Father hears and listens when I speak. I know He knows me and cares for my needs. I know He cares for yours too. 

I am so excited to start this new semester. I can hadly contain it. I might even be sad that I only have until December left as an undergrad at NAU. So bittersweet.

As for the semester, it will be tough. 18 credit hours, 2 capstone classes.


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